I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She said her name was "party"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
