How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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