Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
