There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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