Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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