I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
