Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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