Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
