Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
