dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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