ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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