I wish I could punch you in the face.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
