I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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