Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
