yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
