i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
farters have to be the big spoon...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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