Dual....:-)
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize