Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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