Betty ford says i'm here all night
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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