SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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