I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
