I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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