I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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