don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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