Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
