Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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