I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
