Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
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