Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
tell me about the fingering
Randomize