He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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