Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize