WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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