dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
