So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
