dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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