maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
