Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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