well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
