covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
