Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize