hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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