i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
