What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
COCAINE IS GR8
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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