I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize