It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
