I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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