you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize