Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
