whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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