Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
