This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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