He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize