Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize