I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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