If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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