Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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