apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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