Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
