You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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