The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you had me at cake vodka
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
