I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
