You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I bet he comes in French.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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