well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
