It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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