You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
and you fell through a lawn chair
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
