he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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