I skipped work to stalk him.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
