I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize