remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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