So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize