it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
