if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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